claydols:

hello 911? somebody reblogged my post on tumblr.com and said “i cant breathe”. i think i killed someone. i would like to turn myself in

(Source: basedgosh, via gnarly)

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

(via sllanket)

zaynisgayforme:

"How did you get so many followers?"

image

methbusters:

who wants to hire me as their maid i’m not gonna clean im just gonna wear a cute maid outfit dust like 6 things and bend down a lot

(via -annoying)

SOS

Send Outrageously expensive Shoes

snatchedweaves:

walking downstairs in the middle of the night after bloggingimage

Mom: “Why are you awake?

image

(via parkingstrange)

Debating wether or not I should cut my hair into a bob

frickgerard:

[at my own wedding] can I stay in the car

(via perks-of-being-chinese)